Sunday, April 29, 2007

Worth

In honor of love & everything
I walk upon the surface of my earth.
With tip toes & light treads of a dream
tell me how much I am worth?

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Red is my Color

The red of my eyes
are yours for keeps,
the red of my heart
is where blood seeps.
The red of my sorrow
is meant to weep,
red is all I am
when I can't get to sleep.
The song of my soul
is yours to sing,
the art of my mind
runs deep within,
the dance of my body
has always been
wearing red shoes
in my miscellaneous dreams.
The rebel that I am
is for a good cause,
the war that I create
is not for loss,
My retaliation is
against corrupted force,
but red I see, red I taste,
and red I touch in a mono pause.

Monday, April 9, 2007

When I Die...

When I die I want to die for a good cause.
I don't want to be in bed writing with pain,
crying out to God or the doctors to take it all away.
I want to be able to fight to my very last breath
and smile about how great it all was.
I want to fight my own battle to the very end.
I don' even want to think about what I will do
when I become incapable because I will not succumb to it.
I want to die a good old age when I am good and ready,
not when I am tired and sick.
I believe being sick is a state of mind like everything else,
I don't have to be if I don't want to be.
There will be no such thing as loneliness because
I will always be by the side of the ones I love
and share with them what I have accumulated all my life.
There is always enough to go round
and even for the second, third
and forth time if it is needed.
Everyday will be my last
and everyday will be my first in everything I do.
I want to be curious like a child
and yet I want to be wise with experience
so that I can appreciate everything that comes my way.
Most of all I want to laugh because I can.
Because there is humor in everything we do,
the seriousness is only a show to icing
the lopsided cake that we all are.
My heart will also be with the animals
that are meant to be free, and nature that is forever.
They are the real meaning of life without judgment,
without prejudice, without discrimination.
But if fate would have me bed ridden for whatever reasons,
I will take it as it comes because there must be
some universal unseen reason for that to happen.
But believe me, I will not go down without a fight
for there's always a better reason than just to die.

Saturday, April 7, 2007

Fly away Peter

My friend died of a heart attack the other day and he is younger than me by a few years. We were close once but that was a long time ago, when we were kids. After leaving my small provincial town, we lost touch for a while, got back to updating each other on our lives and then we went our separate ways again.

Friends like these are the ones that make me wonder if we were friends after all. As kids, we always had fun doing crazy things and imagining the ridiculous and the incredible. We talked about worlds beyond, school scandals and what we aspire to be. The thing that we least talked about was ourselves. We never ventured into that territory for the simple fact that we were afraid of being exposed of who we really are. I don't know why it was that way with us but could it be the way we were brought up? Or laid-back towns like ours doesn't approve of openly talking about our fears? If I had that chance to have a heart to heart talk, I would never leave any details out about myself now, but that's a little too late. He never really knew me and I him, and he doesn't know my aspirations are coming true and my dreams have been realized.

I thought about him every once in a while during our hiatus from one another, but the drive to reconnect was never there. It always came down to 'maybe someday', 'I wonder what he's up to' and 'we used to have so much fun talking nonsense', but there was never a follow up. And that was that.

For the past week, I was feeling a little restless and uneasy. I get this way when I feel something not quite right somewhere with someone close. Just two days ago I got a call from another friend who knew him as much as I did. When he said he had some news, I knew right then that it was Peter. I didn't go hysterical with an emotional breakdown because I lost that when we drifted apart. It seems he suffered a heart attack at the airport and collapse. And that was the end of his life story.

I don't really miss him, and yet I could use a little reunion just to say hi and look at how we've changed, but that's something I cannot do now. I have so many other friends who are closer to me than he ever was, and that makes me ponder on what I should do to let them know I love them.

But as I sit down and recall his deep baritone voice laughing at the things that we find hilarious, I guess I really do miss him now. Peter wherever you are, I've always loved you.

Thursday, April 5, 2007

What music will you play?

Will you love a man
who plays you like a violin,
a cello or a fiddle?
Or will you let him
beat you like a drum?
Would you prefer
to be caressed like a piano
or strummed like a guitar?
Manipulated like a flute
or blown like a tuba?
Will his touch make music
with your soul?
Or will it stop
at the rhythm of your body?
How do you want him to play you?
Or do you want to be played at all?
Does his presence make you sing the blues,
or something smooth and jazzy?
Does he make you
want to be a dance number
or do you want to rock?
Is his being with you
a new age experience
or is it with ambient whispers
chilling out?
How will your man be
in the quiet of the night,
and cacophony of the day?
How will you be
to his gentleness,
weakness and tiredness
from the jarring noise?
What music will you play?

Sunday, April 1, 2007

Tis' my country

I want to belong to a country
that will take me for who I am
and allow me to grow on my own,
to make decisions of my own.
I want to be in this country
that protects the environment
and educates her subjects
to a level of competency
on the things they should know.
I want to uphold this country
and be proud of who she is
as she is proud of who I am.
This country that I love
will share with her people
all the truth there is to share
and believe in raising them
to higher grounds of magnificence
despite their ethnicity.
And in return,
I will be the best I can be
to my country.
I will devote my life
to make it a beautiful place to live in
and if necessary
I will pick up a weapon
to defend it from invaders of any form.
I will stand by her
in her moments of despair,
I will be a willing sacrifice
for her freedom.
Death will not keep me away.
I want to be a part of this country,
and I want this country to be a part of me,
but where, where shall I begin?