Thursday, November 27, 2008

When the World is Calling, it won't let you sleep

When life doesn't want me to sleep for whatever reasons it will stir a noisy neighbor to blast their music at a disturbing decibel just enough to provoke my sense of hearing so that I will feel the agitation long enough and gradually toss awake reluctantly in the middle of the night. If it wasn't an inconsiderate neighbor it would be the dog scratching the door begging to be let out to relief himself or the mosquitoes buzzing in my ears relentlessly. If this had happened when I used to have a nine to five job I would be infuriated and flustered with vengeance. I used to be afraid of insomnia because it is regarded as some chronic condition that needed remedy. But ever since I took to writing from home and having read and embraced the laws of attraction, synchronicity and collective subconscious, I realized this sudden wakefulness did not occur by chance. I learned from an octogenarian friend one night that she has lost her will to sleep but she doesn't know why she developed insomnia except for the fact that older people do. After some time of listening to her I gathered that one of the many reasons why she was invaded by sleeplessness was the idea of being alone. Now, when I wake up in the wee hours of the morning I think of her and keep her in mind with a telepathic connection.

Also, every once in a while I feel as though someone, somewhere is talking about me or thinking of me in some parts of the world. With numerous submissions of stories and scripts I send out for consideration, in the different time zones where editors browse through the works, at some point there is bound to be a connection. When the universe is at work and wants you to stay awake, you will be awoken no matter what the situation is. I have experienced instant wakefulness which has nothing to do with Prozac insomnia, sleep apnea, night terrors or bruxism. I just awaken. There are more things that we don't know than we think we may know about our bodies, minds, hearts and souls even when we are in tune with our surroundings.

Those days insomnia was like a disease or a curse to me when I was stirred up by stray and perturbing sounds but now if I can't get back to sleep I would ask myself if it was something more than just anxiety. Like now, a message was derived from my two a.m. agitation. Contentment kills. Or at least to me. That was the revelation I got after contemplating on why this happened to me. My next thought was to move out of this rented room by the middle of next year, since the lease was up anyway, and head for where I am suppose to be going. Secondly, I have not spent sufficient time with my writing although I have done quite a fair bit for this year. I know I can do better and even more. In my mind's eye I sorted out the things I needed to do when the sun rises in the morning but my passionate soul wouldn't let me procrastinate. With a slight headache, mosquitoes taking bites out of me and writing in the dark, my mind is so full of ideas and discernment I just had to write down what my heart is telling me.

As I sit uncomfortably in this warm and humid night at 3.38 in the morning I am preparing myself to take the journey that I fear most, out of my comfort zone and find what I have always been looking for. I know it will take me places and I know the human spirit it greater than any known technological advancements.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Pretty cool update


Chimeraworld #5 available from Chimericana Books.

Chimeraworld #5 (THE REJECTS ISSUE) is available right now from Chimericana Books in American format 6" by 9" paperback for just £8.10. The perfect Christmas gift for those readers bored by the tedium of genre and the dryness of literary compliance.


FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
PRLog (Press Release) – Nov 24, 2008 – Chimericana Books caters to fans of extreme/bizarre fiction. The Chimeraworld anthology is edited by Oxford, UK-based artist/writer Mike Philbin (the man behind subversive keyboard entity Hertzan Chimera R.I.P.).

Mike began editing (and publishing) the Chimeraworld anthologies in 2005 because he couldn't find any fiction that could hold his attention longer than *clicks fingers* that. Most of the things he read were derivative, weak, grey, cliched, genre-compliant filler product that any honest editor would have sent back in a black fugue of disdain or simply poured gasoline on and burned in the reject bin.

What makes the Chimeraworld anthologies so different from 99.37% of the literature you find on the book shelves today is a) they defy genre, 3) they're very strange and ix) you can't find them in the shops - Chimeraworld is a totally online trade paperback venture.

Chimeraworld #1 (23 bizarro tales) was a pure 'grand guignol' festival of all things subversive, horrific and insane.

Chimeraworld #2 (hell is a sorry s**t hole) was the chillled-out downer-antidote to the previous year's gory excesses.

Chimeraworld #3 (atheist, misogynist, terrorist) is back to basics with 23 stories that touch on one or more of these provocative themes.

Chimeraworld #4 (all cars must die) the modern motor car is a blight upon planet earth and must be eradicated.

Chimeraworld #5 (THE REJECTS ISSUE), 170 pages, is available right now at Chimericana Books in American format 6" by 9" perfect-bound trade paperback for £8.10 in English money, or the global equivalent. The perfect Christmas gift for those readers bored by the tedium of genre and the dryness of literary compliance.

The Chimeraworld anthology is staunchly anti-genre, anti-censorship, anti-mediocrity, and the idea behind issue five was that some really great stories had found themselves rejected over the years for the simple reason of editorial inappropriateness.

Here's the full TOC for this year's stunning issue:

HAD BABY - Jade Eckert
TWO BASEBALL AFICIONADOS IN HAVANA - Larry Lefkowitz
APPLE PIE & GLORY HOLES - Chris Reed
READ MY MIND - Kaalii Cargil
THE NIGHT IT RAINED MURDER - Julya Oui
GLIMMER - Deb Atwood
RIPENED FRUIT - Alex Severin
GRAPPLING WITH URINE - Ralph Robert Moore
EDITH’S CHILDREN - Wayne Summers
ME, MYSELF, AND I...AND I...AND I... - J.R. Murdock
PERPENDICULAR DOGS - George O'Gorman
THIS IS THE CALL - Gary McMahon
THE BIKINI BABE RATIOS - Geoffrey Maloney
TWITCH - D.W. Green
WRITER’S BLOCK - David Simms
CRAZY BONES - Joel Jacobs
PAYNE - Jeremy Hepler
THE PRISONER - John B. Rosenman
THE KELPIE - Kevin James Miller
TRANSCRIPT AT THE CLOSE OF A LIFE CYCLE - Forrest Armstrong
MASTERPIECE - James R.Cain
AGAINST MY WILL - Christina Capewell
A LABYRINTH OF ENTRAILS - Adam Lowe

Don't forget, while you're over there, to also pick up the other FOUR Chimeraworld issues, cars, depression, hell and grand guignol are your very bestest friends. Available at the click of a ADD PRINT TO CART button.

http://www.lulu.com/chimericanabooks

# # #

Chimericana Books caters to fans of extreme/bizarre fiction. The Chimeraworld anthology is edited by Oxford, UK-based artist/writer Mike Philbin (the man behind subversive keyboard entity Hertzan Chimera R.I.P.).

Mike began editing (and publishing) the Chimeraworld anthologies in 2005 because he couldn't find any fiction that could hold his attention longer than *clicks fingers* that. Most of the things he read were derivative, weak, grey, cliched, genre-compliant filler product that any honest editor would have sent back in a black fugue of disdain or simply poured gasoline on and burned in the reject bin.

http://www.prlog.org/10145813-chimeraworld-5-available-from-chimericana-books.html

Sunday, November 23, 2008

The Chicken Or The Egg: The Human Plague

You say the traffic's always congested
but you drive alone in your big prestigious car.
You say the public transport's unreliable
but you tell yourself you would never sit with a stranger.
You say that the authorities are corrupted
but you're the first to offer them a bribe.
You are so afraid of being robbed
but you cheat little, cheat low anyway.
You say the world is an ugly place
as you remove every evidence of nature.
You blame everything on the influx of foreigners
but you're one of the locals who won't lift a finger.
You're always suspicious of everyone
and you wonder why friends are so hard to find.
You criticize everyone who is different
and you complain you feel so all alone.
You ask why your god abandoned you
when you leave your love out in the cold.
You always think of the worse that could happen
and you're curious why you feel sick and weak and old.
Tell me, which came first?
The chicken or the egg?
Do you see hope
or do you just shake your head?

Sunday, November 16, 2008

What Better Way

I can't think of anything better, than to sit here
and look at the way my lover sleeps.
I can't think of anything worse, than not being here
in the quietness of the night as time slips.
I don't want to lose myself in deep slumber
but I can't keep myself awake,
There's so much more to live for in the adventure
than to shut down and enervate.
The night is young and so am I,
I live a thousand years before.
Life is nothing but a passing sigh,
but love dwells now and forever more.
I won't know what to do with time
if we had to live life without passion,
Living would sadly be a crime
if we only survive without fervor and devotion.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

The Gardener

I watch the gardener wrapped in his covers
under the sun, weeding, tilling the soil,
watering and making the plants beautiful
for others to see.
Even though the place is filled
with customers, consumers, clients,
no one notices the flowers,
the greens, the trees and shrubs.
No one appreciates their beauty
and warmth and shade.
Everyone is busy buying,
purchasing, feeding themselves
with their hard earned cash.
Flanked with plastic bags,
mostly of things on sale,
which they don't really need,
but care to have for pleasure and desire.
The gardener doesn't get distracted
by the hoi polloi,
he just fiddles with the soil
and listen to the needs of nature
and love it with his heart and soul.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

I split in between spaces

I have but many faces.
I am a terror meister
a lonely hunter
and a dream maker.
I am water
I am rain.
I am agony
I am pain.
I am a dread
and an intimidation
I love my silentness
I love infatuation.
I am fire
I am flame
I am madness
I am sane.
I like the adventure
I like challenge,
but I want the softness
of my all my melange.
I ache everywhere
I travel alone
I am with company
I am home.
I have but many faces.
I split in between spaces.

The Carnivals Of Life

The grays of my life are neither black or white.
They are grays that don't really matter.
I know the perfect storm isn't perfection
it is nothing but merely heavy showers.
I ride the sea of bluster and befuddlement
in my hand-woven boat of love and compassion.
I take to the skies in my flying machine
along with my cat and dog and indolent dreams.
My life spins round like a carousel,
swings madly about like a rollercoaster.
It's the cotton candies, chocolates and caramels
and cakes and cookies that really matter.
I used to think life has a color chart
that measure a person's distinctive features,
but life is much more than a piece of art
it is all there is and none that makes it a wonder.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

T'was The Night When The Moon Bow Shone Down On Us



It was suppose to be a peaceful gathering for people who believed in the same course and who wanted freedom by having a good old fashioned candlelight vigil. But as it turned out, the authorities wasn't going to make it easy for anyone. They barred everyone from stepping into the open field and then the car park where they congregated. By 9.30pm the leader got everyone together at the entrance of the Amcorp Mall, said a few words, sang the national anthem and then dispersed the people, who were asked to walk off two by two. All the major roads leading to the field were blocked, so only the 300 or so managed to make their way there just to be disappointed again.

Like a bad movie with an anti climax, everyone left, except for a few who continued gathering at the PJ Civic Center where some 24 people were arrested. As for the rest of us who went home while we were walking back a friend noticed something in the sky and we all looked. There was a moonbow around a gibbous moon. It was like a sign. The image of an eye, as though someone is watching over us. And I felt like there was hope even in this darkest of nights. Just like Guy Fawkes being referenced in V For Vendetta.

Remember, remember the tenth of November,
The murders, the mayhems and man-made gods,
So here comes the bastion,
to show the world the treason,
of how long we've been trapped, keyed and locked.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

A Need To Know

Knowing what you can’t have forever
is an awful feeling to keep inside.
Knowing the one thing you can't receive,
is knowing that it hurts your pride.

Knowing how loneliness is all in a word,
knowing how quiet the sound it whispers.
Knowing how you will have to put on a smirk,
is knowing how to dream in the shadows.
And then we are the fluttering leaves
so soon we’re green, so soon gone.
Our hopes turn brown and dry and stiff,
in autumns and winters, everything falls.

Knowing life as it is,
is to know our existence shall one day cease.
Knowing ourselves through all our tears,
is knowing life in all our grieves.

We take time to try to know
as much as we can and as much as we do.
And then in the knowing we gather wants,
our needs become more too.
Should we choose to ignore and forget,
should we party away the blues,
sometimes they come back again
to crossroads we have to choose.

And then the body becomes restless
the head will throb with pain.
Our day collides and collapses
and the truth will pour like rain.

To know that nothing matters in the end
is the truth we have to face.
Of loves and lives and all our possessions
will turn to dust and particles in the space.
Knowing that our time is short
is to know that we live in fear,
in the world that cannot be sold or bought
we know that the time to start is here.

Monday, November 3, 2008

My stories in print







My, what wonderful news for me! Two of my short horror stories are out in print.

http://www.lulu.com/chimericanabooks
http://www.lulu.com/content/4427031

Chimeraworld #5 edited by Mike Philbin &
Candlelight Volume 1 edited by Jonathan J. Schlosser

The first is The Night It Rained Murder and the other is Insane. Both have psychological slants to it that blurs the line of reality and fantasy, sound mind and madness.