Wednesday, September 30, 2009

It's a Man's World after all

I heard a truly funny conversation between a mother and a mom-to-be today. "Hi," they both exchanged greetings. Then the mother who had a little girl of 6 or 7 asked the expecting mother. "When are you due?" "Actually, anytime now," the mom-to-be caressed the bulge on her stomach and beamed with such a radiance I could just go blind looking at her. "Do you know?" the experienced mother asked. As though by some telepathic connection the mom-to-be nods her head and smiles sheepishly, "It's a boy." "Good, good." The other woman replied. "There are too many girls around," she continued. "Really?" The mom-to-be asked innocently while she glowed in the darkening sky. "Ya, ya, if you look around they are just too many girls around." And then they said their goodbyes.

I wonder what the woman would tell her friend if she was carrying a baby girl instead. Sometimes I wonder if women know why it's a man's world after all.

Sometimes you just gotta lie through your teeth

I'm not one who lies easily. In fact I am such a bad liar I hardly ever get away with it. But sometimes, just sometimes you gotta lie through your teeth and bones to avoid certain unpleasantness or disaster and that's what I dislike most. The worst case scenario I've recently experienced is to be caught in a friend's father's string of interrogations. On one hand I would have liked to tell him word for word, truth for truth for every question he puts before me. But because of his age, his old school ideals and his traditional outlook at what should be in life I was stuck with the ridiculousness of telling him what he wants to hear. This almost one way conversation is like a fracture on glass. I could feel the hairline cracks begin with each inquisitory demand he has to want to know why or how or what.

With cold invisible sweat running down my back, I told a little white lie and extended it to the next and before I knew it I was shaking with trepidation. Not that I believe that I will go to hell or get my tongue sliced off but the fact that I am writing a script in my mind to entertain this elderly man because I didn't know how much truth he can take. I didn't want to be responsible for his heart to give way or his ideal world to crumble down or his grasp of life as he knows it to be shredded to pieces.

By lying to him I thought I was being considerate but then again was I patronizing him by assuming that he couldn't handle the truth?

Gee whiz, what would anyone do in this situation?

Monday, September 28, 2009

The things that we justify

The conman justifies his crime with the gullible and the greedy.
The parents justify their irresponsibility with the need to feed the family.
The children justify their trouble making with the lack of attention at home.
The husband justifies his infidelity with his wife's losing interest in sexual activity.
The wife justifies her incessant shopping and frivolous lifestyle with her husband's lack of romantic gestures.
The addict justifies his obsession with his disrupted childhood.
The writer justifies his inability to write with writer's block.
The performer justifies his lack of talents with his need for fame.
The religious justify their fanaticism with God's wrath.
The media justify their sensationalism with the freedom of the press.
The sex workers justify their profession with poverty and lack of education.
The murderers justify their killings with insanity, paranormal activity and religion.
The authorities justify their brutality with security for the common people.
The government justifies its anti human rights policies with the nation's inability to think for themselves.
The fearful justify their indifference with the want of peace.
The angry justify their outbursts with stress.
The dying justify their end with fate or the will of God or one of those things.
And everyone wants to know the world is in such a justifiable state.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Of late

I have been feeling more and more like there's little hope for humanity, or the majority of them.

I've been seeing 1111 or 111 frequently everywhere I look.

I've been missing nature, the company of trees.

I've been feeling lost in the city, knowing that it's not my home.

I've been feeling like an out of body experience even when I'm awake and conscious.

I've been seeing images at the corners of my eyes.

I've been hearing whispers, sometimes my name, sometimes a word.

I've been experiencing synchronous events.

I've been zapped from energy in some places with some people.

I've been having pulsating energies in the palm of my hands.

I'm been having intense dreams & nightmares, some with premonitory suggestions.

I've been missing home. A home unlike this world...

Monday, September 21, 2009

Hey! Watch where you're peeing!

What is it with boys, guys, men who pee all over toilet seats? If they are below three years old I might actually understand that it's impossible to reach or control their little weenies. But otherwise, how can they not know why peeing all over a toilet seat is a barbaric act that will cause more than just inconvenience? Isn't that obvious? But why do they still do it? God almighty! How are these males raised in the first place?

Is this some kind of a conspiracy theory or unsolved mystery of the world that can only be classified under the X-files? This strange phenomenon is experienced by women all over the world and there is no cure for their men and boys.

(sung to the song 'Why can't the English? from My Fair Lady, more or less)
Why can't a man learn how to pee?
Why can't he hold it and aim with discreet?
And not spray all over like a storm in the sea,
Why can't a man just sit on the seat?

Friday, September 18, 2009

I heard someone who doesn't speak very good English say to his friend: "You are so homosensual" or at least it sounded that way to me. I wonder what kind of new sexuality that is? Sounds intriguing though.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


He talks like a big man
but he's just a little fry.
And everyone knows it
but he doesn't want to believe it.
She throws herself around like a diva
but she's just a little flicka
And everyone knows it
but she refuses to acknowledge it.
He lashes out his sermon like the right hand of god
but he's just a man in a garb
And everyone knows it
but he is blinded by his egoistical flub.
She struts about with her gold and gain
but she's just a photo in a frame
And everyone knows it
but she's too vain to admit it.
He loves to flaunt his authority
but he's just really a nobody
And everyone knows it
but he tends to forget how his heart beats.
And when no one can stand it anymore
they fall apart, they disintegrate
And everyone knows it
but few want to do anything about it.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Patrick Swayze: The Dirty Dancing Cross Dressing Ghost

 18th August, 1952 - 14th September, 2009
Yet another death this year to add to the long list of talented celebrities. Patrick Swayze thrilled us with his sensual dance that made the news in Dirty Dancing, came back as a charming ghost in Ghost and cross-dressed for To Wong Foo, 
Thanks for everything! Julie Newmar.
May you continue to thrill the heavens.

Near Misses, Lost Wishes

I've always had near misses in my life. From jobs opportunities to relationships to what not. I am the one who almost always got it but end up not getting it. If I were to measure my misses in a worldly yardstick there would have been great misfortunes and hundred and one regrets. But strangely, because of the near misses that I left behind I got other things instead that shaped me to be who I am today.

You can understand the near misses in your life as God's divine intervention or the inevitable predetermination of fate or your subconscious request from the laws of attraction. Whatever you believe to be true, near misses in your life is not fatal. It's not the one and only chance you'll get that will never come your way again. Life is not such but a series of occurrences that are connected from one source to another. Why you missed that moment in life can only be answered by yourself. Perhaps you were not ready to accept the truth, perhaps you were better off letting it go, and perhaps you knew deep within you that it was not what you wanted in the first place.

When you are ready to hear the answers they will come back to you like an epiphany. But if you refuse to listen and you still want to hang on to what you lost you will never come to that realization of transcendence. You may continue to be bitter and drown in the sorrow you only know too well for the rest of your life.

When you think about it, it’s not about what you didn’t get in life that’s important, it’s about the things that you got that is worth treasuring. Anyway, how sure are you that it’ll make your life more exciting, fulfilling and satisfying if you get what you’ve always been longing for?

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Always remember this,
you will be fine
and everything will be wonderful.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Some of the most beautiful things in life are always there for us to see if we would only open our eyes, our hearts and our minds.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

The Night Skies in my Eyes

Here I am sitting at the dining table - it's always the dining table for me even at Hartamas and in Taiping and most places I go - clicking away on the keyboard looking out the window with the view of the city lights. The KL tower is sparkling away like camera flashes of paparazzi and the twin towers look as though they are about to take off into outer space any minute now.

I am just back from a short swim in the pool, having eaten a simple fried rice dinner and now all cleaned up and in my night dress surfing away. What I can't believe is the complete transition or change that occurred almost at a snap of the finger. When I was still back home in Taiping all I could see through the windows are obscure shadows of trees and when I was in Hartamas there were only the road and street lamp. Now it's the cityscape. I lived all these 3 places in a day on Monday and I am still nonplussed at the speed which events could happen.

Life's changes can be drastic and immediate. Once it's gone it's gone. Once it's here it's here. You just have to be prepared for it, for anything so that you would be able to readapt yourselfwithin a short period of time. Taking too long to accept the inevitable can be draining on the heart, body, soul and mind.

There may be questions as to why change is necessary but if you just listen to your heart and trust your instincts the universe will reveal the reasons behind it. As I was floating on the water looking at the night sky just now I was elated and contented to know we do make a difference to everyone we meet and leave, it'sjust how much we give or take from them.

Friday, September 4, 2009


It's like it never was
a house,
a home.
The company,
the money.
When everything is sorted out
something else is runied.
Sometimes you try
hard as you can
but they just won't
come together.
Like how you wish it to,
like how you want it to,
like how you need it to.
things just fall apart
and remain broken
because that's how
everyone wants it to be.
They stay trapped,
they stay strapped,
they stay wrecked.
There's no communication,
there's no interaction,
there's only indecision
that spins out of control.
Get smacked,
get whacked,
get staked
up like garbage.
Some people are in pieces,
some are in stitches,
and all caught up with wishes
yet broken
they remain.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Now, this is truly Independence Day

Alain Robert (7 August 1962) climbed the 88 story high Petronas Twin Tower in less than 2 hours. His first attempt was March 20, 1997 and then again in the year 2007 but he failed to reach the top after being intercepted on the 60th floor.

Anyone who wants to know what passion is should know that Robert suffers from permanent vertigo and the doctors consider him to be 60% handicap. He has fallen 7 times but climbed over 85 skyscrapers and monuments.

Now that's the power of positive thinking.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Independence and all that Spaz

so what is it?
Liberty? Freedom?
What is it? What is it?
Why would a country
that discriminates
certain groups of people
celebrate independence day?
What reason could it possibly have?
Was it tormented?
Was it ostracized?
Was it prejudiced against?
If so, why can't the country understand
what it's like for her nation,
for the minority
who feels the same?
Ban them,
censor them,
cast them aside,
ignore them,
warn them,
sweep them under the tide,
silence them,
shut them,
lock them up,
dictate them,
rule them,
ship them out
and then celebrate independence day
hooray hooray!