Tuesday, December 29, 2009

On the 4th day of Xmas

So now you can vote for me:


Days like these are pretty amazing. Some people go club hopping, some go pub crawling but I love going friends a-calling. From office to home to a rendezvous. And now I'm off to the see the wizard ... the wonderful wizard of...

Monday, December 28, 2009

'twas the 3rd day of Xmas

Turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, brown sauce, some spicy chicken, roast lamb, kunyit rice, boiled vege, friend vege, potatoes, cheese cake, jelly cake, kueh kueh, fruits, barley drink, soft drinks and a partridge on a pear tree. And I still haven't enough sleep and I am fed to the eyeballs.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

'twas the Night after Xmas

...and there was company after company of families and friends and then an array of wines, liquor and satay, lamb, desserts, turkey and some serious and bizarre conversations. And I haven't enough sleep.

'twas the Night before Xmas

...and we had fried tofu balls, salad, spaghetti, roast chicken with potatoes, fried tempei, baked capsicum, home made tiramisu, vanilla and peach ice cream with St. Dalfour's blackberry jam, chocolate cake, salsa and wonderful company. And I haven't enough sleep.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Banking on Banksy

Talk about coincidences. What are the odds that someone told me about Banksy last night and this morning I find a link to his work by chance on a friend's Facebook?

Banksy, if you don't already know, is a British graffiti artist. And he is a semi-anonymous artist whose identity is not publicized but may be known by some. So who is he? An anti hero? An anti social vandal? A mystery?

His works are tongue-in-cheek, anarchistic, politically cheeky, anti government and thought provoking graffiti, stencils, paintings and sculptures are not to be taken lightly. Looking at his great masterpieces you will know that he has more to say than just being labeled as a socially irresponsible vandal. Here are some of his works but they are only a smidgen of what more you can get from this elusive artist.



'Twas a Night of Delusions

I love going for Malaysian plays because so far there is always some form of unexpected surprise. From the gopher holes of Cuckoo Birds to the representational boxes used in Wayang Fajar and now this, a series of plays that take us from one room to the next.

I had no idea what Delusions: The Year in a Word was all about but I knew I just had to watch it since so many known talents are involved.

It started with a play without words of the lives of two ordinary people going through the motions of the ups and downs of an everyday existence with humor and wit. Next, we were ushered into the adjacent room  to experience the sights and sounds of a video performance and I somehow picked up on the nostalgia and wistfulness when the audio and visual baptized us. Following that were two healthy looking guys working out a routine, which made me breathless just watching them, while a political speech was played in the background. And then there is the leg of an ant has been wounded in the bottom of a well drama where the actors sit among the audience reiterating 'I dreamed of a cow last night', reminding of Rent the movie. If you think it can't go anymore bizarre than this we again adjourn to a room where face masks were distributed. Two actors and a pile of sand came into contact and the most magnificent visual effect I have ever seen emerged from the particles that were thrashed in a beam of light. Finally, a couple of clowns entertained us with their buffoonery and ingenuity of what clowns usually do. And to close an evening of outre events we were each given a card with instructions to mimic Teoh Beng Hock's death position, for those who chose to, on the ground to pay our respect for him in a silent candle light moment.

What a fantastic way to end the year for the arts. It takes so much of coordination to get the entire show running without hitches and it was definitely one event that could have had more audience to be a part of this creative delusion.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

The End of Human Kind as we know it

I am currently writing a script on human trafficking and I can't believe what I find on the internet. This is the most lucrative and fastest growing criminal industry in the world. Sometimes I wonder how is it possible for a human being to treat another like an animal.

How can anyone have sex with a person who is forced into prostitution? How can anyone buy a person to be his slave? How can anyone purchase a stolen baby and raise it as his own? Where is the heart in all this? Do these people have no heart? No conscience?

Due to the illegal nature of trafficking and differences in methodology, the exact extent is unknown. According to United States State Department data, an "estimated 600,000 to 820,000 men, women, and children [are] trafficked across international borders each year, approximately 70 percent are women and girls and up to 50 percent are minors. The data also illustrates that the majority of transnational victims are trafficked into commercial sexual exploitation.
(Extract from wikipedia)

At times I feel like there's hope for the homo sapiens, at times I think not. And we have the cheek to complain about the tasteless food we eat, bitching at offices for better standing among colleagues, warring with one another for more and being uncompassionate to the smallest of things that actually mean a lot.

How can we survive our own horror of being human? What sick bastards can go on doing this? And the government? They're more concern about banning books and punishing people who are happy with their lives. If 2012 doesn't bring the end, something else definitely will!


Thursday, December 17, 2009

Phobia for the People

I've met people who leave me phobias,
people whom I have no wish or desire to see again.
The thought of them frightens me
when I recall their presence that feels like pain.

Some people I'd just love to embrace
and hold a smile as long as I can give.
Some people are wonderful beyond grace
who makes this world such a wondrous place to live.

I've always believed in the benefits of the doubt
but it doesn't always turn out that way.
I'd love to be naive and innocent as a cloud
but some people prefer the bitch and the fray.

I like to think that there is always a chance
for people to wake up from their delusions.
But some people remain in an antipathic trance
and sanctify it to be their religion.

How can I not be afraid of these people
when all I feel is their corrosive energy?
How can I not stay away from their drivels
when anger, dissatisfaction and fear are all I see?

Monday, December 14, 2009

I'm losing my mind

Raymond told me my Monsters, Beasts & Creatures chapbook reminds him of Luigi Serafini's Codex Seraphinianus. I didn't know who that guy was or what the book was all about so I went on a witch hunt and found many sites about it that devoured most of my morning.

And as one thing leads to another I found it to be more and more mind boggling and intriguing. This is the kind of book you either skim through and utter 'bah humbug!' or be amazed by it like I am right now. I didn't want to stop for breakfast or lunch for that matter but decided to stuff myself with a piece of bread while I studied the related links to this amazing looking book.

I can't help but feel that Serafini must have had a vision or insight to produce this strange looking book. It couldn't have been a random work of art for art's sake. Being the day dreamer and occasional spaced out animal that I am maybe I am reading a little to much into this. I wish Serafini would say something about it but he remains quiet until now.

My head is about to crack open and my brains ooze out but I am still trying to stay at my laptop to find out about the Voynich manuscript, Codex Mendoza, Borges’s “Tlön, Uqbar, Orbis Tertius and everything else that seem to have some connections with it.

If you are not ready to walk into the realm of madness don't even look at this book or you'll never know what sanity is ever again.


I am totally totaled from the weekend. I didn't realize 2 days of art bazaar could take so much from me. Maybe it's because I was also rushing to get the chapbooks out? Or could it be that I just completed more than a week's long preparation for the Sentuh project?

Anyway the most fun part of the event was meeting some of my erstwhile students and a few new friends. But now I can hardly keep my eyes open and I miss my bed ... mattress. Oh! the joy of lying down and losing myself to slumber.

I also had the opportunity to watch Wayang Fajar which is bizarre, hilarious and visually impressive. I just loved what they did to the boxes, looking like an art installation, functions as the screen and also manipulated to express emotions and anthropomorphized. But most of all Zedeck stole the show with his Betty Crocker or Martha Stewart persona which brought the house down ... to the ground.

The other play by Fallen Leaves was just as remarkable with the issues of Three little words: Sex, Drugs & Violence. My best part was when Azahar read his very short and witty poem with such gusto and humor. These amateur actors are brilliant although they have no theater background.

I guess this is more the Art 4 Grabs for me than to watch the booth and wait for potential purchasers although I am grateful that they did.

And not forgetting the heroes.

Tonight I shall sleep well, knowing that I have done something I have always wanted to do. And the weekend has been really a lesson of life in so many ways. *Yawnnn* Good night world, goodnight to all who are compassionate, considerate and responsible.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Quote of the day

Always find a way.

How Can I Tell You?

How can I tell the man
that he's children are not happy
with the situation at home?
How can I tell him
everything is falling apart
when all he can see is the facade he propped up?
How can I tell the woman
what she is doing to her son
will bring years of agony and despair?
How can I tell her
when all she wants to see
is the immaculate side of the son?
How can I tell this man
who spoils his son unconditionally with guilt,
and that he is doing more harm than good?
But he defends himself with the common axiom,
'you don't understand'.
How can I tell someone
who regard me as a friend
that I don't reciprocate the feelings?
Not because he doesn't
measure up to the guidelines I imposed
but because his pessimism brings me down?
How can I tel a friend
whose laughter is as empty
as the attention she is drawing?
Howw can I tell her
to seek the naked truth
instead of wearing the masks of deceit?
How can I tell anyone anything
when no one wants to listen?
Who am I to tell them what I see
when I could be implicated
for being discriminatory and judgmental?
But if I don't say a word
would I be cynical and irresponsible?
How can I tell you
you don't have to prove yourself
to anyone or yourself?
How can I tell you
you don't have to get defensive
and layout all the excuses of the world?
How can I tell you
to just let go and just be?
How can I tell you
what need not be explained?
How can I tell you
when you can't tell yourself?

Friday, December 11, 2009

This Weekend! Grabbing them arts!


My first 4 chapbooks for the first time for Art 4 Grabs this weekend at the Annexe

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Angels in America at the Annexe

We did a marathon, yes the whole 6 hours, of Angels in America at the Annexe to wrap up this year's Queer as Film Sundays. This is the first time I am watching it after hearing tons of recommendations, praises and conversation pieces. The hours passed faster than I expected but the series didn't grab me the way I thought it would. Or at least the way I've heard so much hype about. When I checked the awards that it won and responses in IMDB I'm wondering if I missed something here. Something so vital that made this TV series a hit and that is liked by everyone who spoke about it.

It's a good series of course but I felt there were other adapted plays that were much better than AIA. The outlandishness remind me of Twin Peaks and the multiple-role characters remind me of Peter Sellers, Whoopi Goldberg and even Jo Kukathas.

Here are some of the adapted plays that I have enjoyed tremendously over the years:

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof 1958 (Tennessee Williams)
Deathtrap 1982 (Ira Levin)
Nell 1994 (Mark Handley)
The Crucible 1996 (Arthur Miller)
Rent 2005 (Jonathan Larson)
Bug 2006 (Tracy Letts)

Sunday, December 6, 2009

The Touch Project

What an experience it had been for the past 9 days of meetings, brainstorming, rehearsals, paintings and late nights at the mamaks that finally lead to Frinjan yesterday. A mixed bag of nuts we came from all over the places with theater background, artistic and designing scene, regular 9 to 5 Joe or Jane and even with some political affiliations.

Beginning with a 2 day sexuality and sexual rights workshop we meld into ideas for a one person performance on several issues related to the 16 days of activism against gender violence supported by JAG (Joint Action Group) and at the same time worked out the art installation. For such a short period of time what we achieved is remarkable and still beyond my expectation.

I've recently known Malaysians who defy logic to complete shooting a TV movie in 10 days, who can write scripts within a week and now this. Brilliant doesn't even cut it right. We assembled at 5 Arts Center for the first time and then continued with Strawberry Fields Cafe for brainstorming, SS2 coffee shop and the mamak for fellowship.

I still remember how the word 'sentuh' came about, which means touch, and also a combination of 2 words 'sexualiti dan tubuh' that means sexuality and body. The performances were 'Saya seorang wanita (I am a girl), Perempuan harus berambut panjang (Girls should have long hair), Saya bangga sebagai seorang wanita (I love being a woman), Space, Box, Tomboy, Invasion of Privacy and peephole.

Thanks for the memories Koon, Shieko, Fairuz, Ayam, Masturah, Sherilyn, Haslina, Paik Yin, Siti and Kevin (and everybody else). Another something for my autobiography.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Limerance? WTF

I just found out I suffered from Limerance when I was younger after all these years. This definition says it all.
Limerence refers to an involuntary cognitive and emotional state of intense romantic desire for another person.
Dorothy Tennov, Psychologist
It's a near obsession form of romantic love which is a kind of unrealistic expectation, like an infatuation, without the knowledge of the admired person. Thank god I'm out of it. This intensity can lasts for months or years and cause an emotional breakdown and probably even drastic measures of unrequited love. You can actually build a big picture of yourself and the person involved in a future that doesn't exist and live through it as though it's real.

Sounds very much like Fatal Attraction doesn't it?

My Heart

My heart is a funny being,
she doesn't tell me what she's up to and what she does.
She'll love anyone without my consent,
and she'll do what pleases her.
She'll make me cry when she is moved
by a book, a movie, or a situation.
And then cackle like a hysterical banshee
when she loses her grip of everything.
She reads people like a dictionary,
and whispers to me her definition.
I'll tell her it's none of her business
but you think she'll listen to reason?
My heart is not a lonely hunter,
she lives life on the edge.
She flirts around as though
she's play acting on a stage.
She knows no bounds and barriers
she's wild as the windy gale.
She's full of life's desires
to take on every fairy tale.
My heart is a woman of passion
she is warm and soft and full of love.
But my mind can curb her enthusiasm
for he is the only one who knows.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009


My recent synchronicity is with the word Raw. I saw some artwork which prompted me to have my own exhibition (next year I hope) with this theme the way I like art to be. And then a friend of mine said casually she likes art which is raw and original. Today I got an email to one of those subscribed newsletter that is asking for submission for a Raw themed contribution to be published online. Now, how bizarre is that?